I’ve known obese women who did just fine—they were highly gregarious and attracted many admirers.
Aaron makes an excellent impression, too; when my friends first met him, they all said how well he “carried his weight” and urged me to take him seriously. But he is warm, smart and outgoing, and—key for me—athletic.
Maybe because I live in a time when more and more people are fat—several of my thin friends from childhood or our twenties are now obese—I don’t believe that everybody who is fat is more emotionally screwed up than the thinner person in the next cubicle.
An obese woman will have more trouble dating than an obese man, everything else being equal.
But confidence carries the day, in both men and women.
He will likely develop diabetes, and/or high blood pressure, and/or a heart condition, affecting everything from his overall health, to being able to travel, to the meals you can share together, to the feeling of living with a sick person - and you becoming his caretaker.
He sounds like a great guy, but don't take the blinders off.
They are less likely to be promoted, and have lower wages.
When I met him, he was jolly and seemed oblivious to her tension.My short list of requirements included wanting to hike, ski, and generally spend time outdoors. Aaron is one of the relatively rare obese people who is fit, fitter than almost anyone else I know.I admired that, and admired the way he projected confidence.Aaron was noble about it: he saw that I was “dealing with the issue” in this way, but he did keep me in line, when I went too far. Hence my advice: If your partner has become heavier, and you find yourself less attracted, I believe that the solution lies in the quality of your interactions.Work on the relationship—which might mean apologizing for past mistakes, being more candid, taking an interest in areas of your partner’s life you tend to ignore, or finding new ways to have fun.Start by demonstrating the value of your relationship and the person you love may respond by trying to please you, which may or may not mean losing weight. A version of this piece appeared on Your Care Everywhere.